the tension remains.........at least for now

For a while now I've been on a journey of understanding the whole concept of church as something entirely different than buildings, bylaws, doctrines, meetings, human authority, activities, and budgets. I'm seeing it (or at least wanting to) increasingly as a community of God/Jesus followers and seekers that are led and drawn by the mysterious Holy Spirit. A living organism way bigger than the confines of human institution. Something ultimately out of the control of humanity. A community that can be witnessed in a relationship of 2 people here and 50 people there. A "coincidental" meeting somewhere in a grocery store, or a committed gathering of religious club folks (both of these scenarios possibly equally authentic representations of God's true church).

But then there are nagging questions echoing in the background like this one, "Is this idea really true?" Furthermore, Jesus ministry did seem to be characterized by working within both the secular and religious culture of the day. Jesus worked within human institution to connect with people, and yet he was seemingly so unboxed or guided by it.

I long to be free from church being defined by the stuff that we typically do in religious institutions and for it to be a much greater relational community experience. But then I remember the value of rituals (holiday celebrations, etc.) in other areas of life. The way they can become environments for relationships to begin and grow. I think about how, to some people, age old religious rituals and practices seem to enhance their relationship with God and each other. But, then again, there are still those who feel the practices and rituals become substitutes and actually take away from greater relational possibilities with God and humanity.

Do rituals and institutions (organized religion) get in the way of the ultimate goal of growing deeper relationships or do they enhance them? Or is this simply a question that is answered differently from person to person? Or is it a paradoxical reality that both perspectives are true? Is it a call to live in the world (secular and religious), but ultimately be of neither?

And so, the tension remains.........at least for now!