oh to be strong!

Okay, the picture has nothing to do with what I want to say. I just think it's adorable! And it reflects one of my hobbies-paddling. Winter is the time to dream and plan about summer paddling.

Last night I watched "We Are Marshall" with my family. Initially I kinda rolled my eyes at another sports movie with some hero strong leader type bringing a team to victory and teaching great lessons. However, I really enjoyed this movie and found it tugging at my own desires to be a stronger person. A leader! Someone with a clear sense of calling and direction that no one or nothing can shake. I reflect on my own personality (in fact, many times, I don't even have to reflect as my personality stares me in the face all too often) and find it to be so weak many times. I can easily vacillate in the winds of others ideas and approval/disapproval like the little boat in the picture would likley do in the slightest of breezes.

Some times, I simply feel that God has made me with my shifting personality and that through it I can minister to people in ways that "strong leader" types may not be able to do. But then I experience things that stir up these desires in me to be "stronger". To be visionary. To be wise. To have deep conviction.

Thinking about this last night again, I began to journal. As I clicked away on the keyboard spewing my feelings out as digits on the screen, I began to wonder and be impressed that maybe God has made me the way I am, but also has put these desires and longings in me to be a stronger person too. I sensed that if I ever became a stronger leader, it would be through something that God developes in me (possibly through greater life experience), not something I grit my teeth striving to achieve.

So, again I rest momentarily in the peace of realizing that God has made me the way I am and is continuing to grow me more and more. Who knows what He will do with/through me down the road.

Huh! Maybe the little picture does relate to these thoughts?